Greystone House Montessori Schools Houston, Texas. Child care Montessori provider in Champions, The Woodlands, Spring Texas Greystone House Montessori Schools Houston
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BEING AND DOING
Parenting is one of the hardest jobs we’ll ever do, mainly because it confronts us with the necessity of growing up ourselves. A growing, questioning, mimicking child in front of us brings us face-to-face with what our own values and practices are.

The bigger issue is the doing. We all know that to loose weight, we have to eat less. We know that to be fit, we have to exercise. But we don’t do it. So to be good parents, we have a list as long as our arms of things to do. Then as we feed our kids French fries in front of the TV, we beat ourselves up for not doing what we truly wanted to do. An incredibly more effective way to get where we want to go is to “be” the quality we’re trying to achieve. As we con-sider what to eat for dinner, if we get in the mindset of “we are a healthy family”, we know at the most elemental level that healthy families eat lots of fruits and vegetables, no fried foods, and minimal sweets. On Saturday morning, if we’re in the mindset of “we’re a fit family”, our gut tells us that a fit family goes hiking, biking, or camping instead of to the movies. It’s the “being” that gets us doing what we know we should do, what we want to do.

This energy extends to other characteristics that we want for our families. If we are a family that honors integri-ty, if we are “being” people of integrity, then we do things like tell the truth, do what I said I would do, and share. If we are “being” a family who has fun, then we jump on the trampoline, play in the sprinkler, and decorate cookies together.

The mind shift of “being” that kind of person is what enables the characteristic. We see it with our children when we talk about being brave, being kind, or being polite. Un-fortunately, this power works the other way, too. If we use words with our children that even hint that he’s shy, she’s not so good at math, or there’s a bully at school, the child begins to think of herself as shy, dumb at math, or a victim. The good news on each of these negative characteristics is that we can “do” ourselves out of them. History is full of stutterers who became famous orators and singers, poor students who became renowned geniuses, and grandmothers who began painting now-famous pictures. All of us can establish new habits by doing a thing for 26 days. Benjamin Franklin did it by setting up 14 characteristics he wanted to “be”, and he cycled through focusing on one characteristic at a time until they became ingrained in his personality.

Many of us review each day with our children as we tuck them into bed at night. It’s very revealing to review what your child thought was the happiest, funniest, or even scariest part of his day. It’s a way to complete the business of the day and then to move on into what we want to “be” tomorrow. It’s a powerful seeding exercise that our subconscious then works on overnight. It works equally well for adults.

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