Greystone House Montessori Schools Houston, Texas. Child care Montessori provider in Champions, The Woodlands, Spring Texas Greystone House Montessori Schools Houston
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COMPETENT KIDS/NEEDY PARENTS
There is a fine line between being a supportive parent and being a “hovercraft”, especially for our preschoolers. Human infants are born helpless. I suspect from an evolution perspective so that we quickly get into the parenting role of being dependable. But then we hang on too long, and even our infants who need to be able to move about for themselves are strapped in, locked down, and spoonfed. We discover that we rather like having this charming creature dependent on us. The child may struggle for a while, but eventually a symbiosis begins to develop where a needy parent is hindering the child’s competence. It begins to be really obvious when a child who is able to walk is carried into the school. He may feed himself very competently at our table, but dad still dutifully spoon feeds baby food at home. Toddlers who stay dry all day here may come to school in the mornings in a diaper. Mom may come back three times to say goodbye until finally the child is upset and cries. Mom can leave now feeling that her child really does love her and is upset to have her go.

So if you’re a parent who knows that your child exhibits competent behavior at the school but you can’t get them to do it at home, what do you do? Talk about it with us. Start by saying “I know my child gets himself to sleep at the school, but we absolutely can’t get him to sleep at night or to stay asleep. How do you do it?” We love to brag on our kids and to share our techniques. If what we say seems strange, tell us. If your active 4-year-old tells you he can only have a half glass of milk – that’s strange. It’s out of the context that he can only have a half glass at a time, but he can have as many glasses as he wishes. If your child is terribly upset every morning coming to school, let’s talk. She seems to like school. Do you hate going to work or the stress of getting everything together every morning? We can talk about techniques here, things like laying morning things out the night before, talking about what we’re looking forward to today, and eagerly planning the evening.

When we study what hang ups adults have, the first glaring issue happens in early childhood, maybe between the ages 2 and 4. This is where our children are now. Now is our time to bypass that hangup so our children can move unfettered into their elementary years. We have to pay attention to our own blinders and narrow vision and open ourselves up to the possibilities of having no-limit children (a wonderful term from Wayne Dyer in his book What Do You Really Want for Your Children?) When our children’s parents can see their own blind spots just in techniques of child raising, our children are free to become as truly and freely competent as they can be. We love to talk about how to start a happy day, how to be secure in what’s going on, how to get children to eat green peas, and how to go to bed calmly. If we can’t talk right this minute, let’s schedule a time we can be focused on this critical topic.

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