Resiliency is the ability to quickly recover from things that have disrupted us in some way or caused us a hardship. There are a number of things that can disrupt our day. Sometimes we feel hurt when someone has called us a name. We may feel pressure when others are doing something that we know is wrong (a thing that falls outside of our values), but are asking us to join in. We can even take offense when someone disagrees with us. Life can also throw hardships at us. We may endure the loss of a pet. A friend may move away. Our social group may disband leaving us with a sense of loneliness. Ultimately, building up our ability to respond and recover in a positive fashion is priceless.
According to The Mayo Clinic and others, there are a number of things we can do to become more resilient. As parents, our ability to achieve resilience will be a direct example set for our children to do the same things.
– Get connected to others. Having a broad network of friends and family that you are deeply intertwined with is good for you. It provides redundancy in support systems, gives us opportunities for real (not online) human connection, and can challenge us to get out of our routine to be there for others as they are for us.
– Find a sense of meaning. Meaning can come from a number of places. When we have it in our lives there can be little doubt that it is easier to weather the difficulties that confront us. This is especially true if you have worked to find and define that meaning in your own life.
– Be open to inputs about yourself. We are all works in progress. It is amazing how sometimes even an ill intentioned comment can spark a moment of self-reflection and insight that helps us grow as people. When inputs produce positive results we can see it can help us stay more positive overall.
– On that last note – keeping hope alive can help us weather a lot of storms. This doesn’t have to be grandiose hope. Sometimes, just knowing that you have had a better day than today can give us hope that there will be another better day on the horizon.
– Be willing to learn from experience. We have all made it through tough times. Take some time to reflect on some of those times and think about what it was that helped you get through it all. Once you think you have a handle on it, ask if there are opportunities to apply what you learned to make even your average days better.
– Practice self-care. This comes in a lot of forms. This can mean that you actively engage in a hobby that brings you joy. It may mean that you take some time every day to clear your head. It should always mean that you do your best to eat right, find ways to destress, and get some exercise.
– Get out ahead of issues. We can be proactive about a lot of things. Some of lifes biggest stressors have a funny way of sneaking up on us. One example is financial struggles. Getting in the habit of questioning every purchase can save a lot of heartache and anxiety later if life circumstances suddenly change. It is much easier to weather the loss of a job, a change of career, a return to school, or an extended break if you act today like these things are likely to happen tomorrow.
Ultimately, good values are also a huge source of resiliency for us all. It is much easier to remain positive when you know you have done the right thing and that the right thing is defined by a well thought out set of values. Helping build and reinforce those values is one of the things we are here for.
