This blog isn’t only for our parents at the school. This one is for the bosses to whom our parents report. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. At Greystone House we support families with children from 6 weeks old through Kindergarten. We are very fortunate in that many of our families start in our infant room and remain all the way through our programs. Not only is that a great way to provide stability for the children, but it is a wonderful opportunity for us to build a partnership and relationship over time as we get to really know the family. One thing we see over and over again that we love as much as the growth of the children is the development of our Mom’s and Dad’s. We like being a part of that, and we feel the need to suggest that employers be a part as well.

Parenting is job number one. The importance cannot be overstated. The reality of 21st century America is that there are other jobs besides parent that also need tended to. Career is generally job two or three (depending on the parent’s status with regard to a partner). When companies make it difficult for jobs one and two to be prioritized it puts a strain on parents that carry over to children. And bosses – we aren’t talking about the edge cases where someone is not working more than they are working and they have every excuse in the book. We don’t really believe that type of attitude exists in any meaningful way in professional settings. I never saw it in more than a quarter century in the Fortune 100 (though I did see a few bad bosses that left parents frazzled or even in tears). While it may seem that the system is being gamed at times, what we are presenting are some things you should know if you are supervising parents of young children. We hope they give some context and change your mind.

– Parents of infants that are in childcare are going to miss some days. Probably more than you think as their partner is likely covering days you aren’t even aware of. Children who enter childcare for the first time are exposed to new bugs of all sorts that their immune systems need to figure out. They will get it figured out. Absenteeism of our students drops in a remarkable manner the longer they have been at the school. They simply fight off more of what is going around the longer they are here.

– When you put pressure on parents to show up regardless (or to commit to being 100% present), you are causing problems for more than just that parent. They tend to drop children off ill in an attempt to appease you – but all that happens is the child ends up miserable and heading home anyway. After they have infected a bunch of other children. This was bad in the past. In the age of COVID it is beyond the pale. If you are the boss that started this, you just caused a bunch of other bosses to stress out too.

– If you are a parent to older children yourself and have forgotten – allow us to remind you of a few things. Years 1-3 are a fairly steady stream of Doctor’s appointments – both well visits and for a variety of illnesses. If you are getting request number 5 in year one for 2-3 hours off to deal with a Doctor’s visit, well… that is normal. It might even be a little low.

– If your employees have their children in a good school – there are other commitments as well. There will be parent/teacher conferences. This is an important information exchange between parents and the teachers who work with their child 8-10 hours per day. Yes – it means Mom or Dad (hopefully both) are off work for a few hours again. But this is important stuff. Support them and they will support you.

When we try to put a number on parent commitments outside of work we come up with something that might surprise some bosses. For year one you can expect that parents will have at least two weeks and maybe as much as three weeks in parenting commitments during office hours. Years two to three are generally reduced to between seven and ten workdays. By the time children hit age three until they hit elementary school, parents will likely see at least one full week per year away from the office. Keep in mind all of these numbers include partial days which means the five days/forty hours might actually be spread out across ten days of partial absences.

Here is the positive. The best bosses and the best companies are those that value their employees for what they are off of work – parents, friends, active adults, and members of a community. Many companies have started a move toward extended maternity and paternity leave (excellent!). If you can’t muster the 6 months to 1 year of leave to be competitive, at least ensure you are reflecting the real priorities of being a parent.