Of all of the dangers that social media presents to children, perhaps the worst is the unrealistically inflated sense of self that the culture of likes conveys. The ease with which the same machinery can crush the ego of those who do not yet have the life experience to contextualize what they are experiencing is equally appalling. The persistent forces that convey the message that our worth is defined by what our group believes is incredibly destructive. Humility, and the moral alertness it promotes, is an antidote and a key to raising children who have a realistic sense of self as well as a desire to learn.
Maria Montessori herself emphasized that personal humility is an essential trait for a Montessorian to have. To Dr. Montessori, it was not words, but virtues such as humility that were the main qualifications to be a guide in a Montessori classroom. Finding servant guides for our classrooms is one of our highest priorities and it is far from an easy task. Keeping those guides and supporting them in the critical mission they have is critical to our goal of helping children discover the world around them. These servant leaders, or Directresses, provide a daily example of humility for the children they serve.
As parents, we need to be clear with ourselves and our children that humility does not equal passivity nor does it make someone a target to be taken advantage of. At its best it is built on a realistic sense of self and of deserved pride. Humility is an avoidance of a sense of superiority and a realization that we are part of something larger than ourselves. As parents, self-reflection is critical to this realistic sense of self and of where we fall short and can grow. We have all done something as parents that we are not proud of. Owning up to our mistakes and admitting that we still have room to grow is a wonderful thing our children can see us do. But showing them that we can use our mistakes to change is priceless. The next time you err as a parent (sorry, it will happen), consider how you can model humility for your child.
Humility in the classroom is a natural outgrowth of a Montessori education. Because children choose the work they learn from, a natural cycle of trying, failing, repeating and eventually succeeding emerges. No child masters a piece of work the first time they attempt it. They are humbled by it. But as they persist, they eventually master the work and, in the journey to that end, exhibit behaviors that reflect their humility. They ask others for help, including students that are older and more experienced with the work. They learn to take a break from the work and try new challenges. Eventually they return to the work, using knowledge they have built in the interim to humbly accept the challenge once again.
