Making positive memories with children is one of the great joys of parenting (and childcare). The first time you hear your grown children waxing eloquent about the wonderful time they had when you did something special as a pair or as a family is absolutely priceless. It is a concrete example that you as a parent handed something of value to your child and that they cherish it enough to carry it with them. It is also a good sign that they will make an effort to pass it on to their children. Beyond creating legacies, there is another benefit to these memories and that is that the positive feelings they create are an armor against the inevitable difficult moments in life. They become a well to draw on of how life can be when, for the moment, how it actually is doesn’t cause us to celebrate. The question for us as parents is, how do we find or create these experiences and ensure that they stick.
One of the first ways is to do things that are far away from the daily routine. Growing up, all four of our children have fond memories of exploring the outdoors. Our oldest two spent parts of their childhood in the mountainous American west. Our younger two made annual treks to visit family in the same region, all of which involved fishing, hiking and time at the family cabin in the Rockies. All of them when pressed about memories involving places that helped them escape the daily routine will mention Rocky Mountain National Park. The good news is that you don’t have to go far to build these memories. Texas is loaded with locations to escape the daily routine as well as see new and different things. Watching the mass bird migrations from any of the number of National Wildlife Refuges that dot the Gulf Coast region, camping, canoeing and fishing in the Piney Woods, and even a change of scenery involving hiking through some of the natural areas in the Texas Hill Country – all of these get children out of the daily grind while facilitating a love of nature, a sense of freedom and exploration, and a knowledge that these protected areas will (hopefully) be there for their own families later.
Building traditions, something we value at Greystone House, is also a way to make memories with children. One of our favorites stems from one of our Greystone House families who makes a point to have an interesting (in terms of food choices) and special breakfast every Thanksgiving. We hear about it from the children and the parents and it is clear that this is going to stick with the kids for a long time. Our family celebrates Festivus every year – complete with spaghetti dinner, feats of strength, and airing of grievances (a great way to thumb our noses at the stress of the holidays). This started off many, many years ago as a way to take a break during the holidays and has morphed into a huge event amongst friends and extended family. As a school, we hold our annual events as a way to create traditions. We run into former students who are now in their twenties (and older) and love to hear their positive memories of the luau, fall outing and winter open house.
Family dinners are one of our most highly recommended sources of memory making. These aren’t the epic memories of expensive trips that tend to plant details (whether real or romanticized) in our heads, but rather the cumulative memories of a daily event that helped build values and form us into who we are. There isn’t one way to “do” family dinners. Rather, it is the consistent act of having them that makes a difference over time. We like to have open family dinners where everyone can freely speak their mind. Dinner tends to end up with a huge amount of laughter at our table, but there have been a huge variety of conversations over the years. Even now, years after they have been in the working world and out of college, if our older children are at the house after noon we just set extra places at the dinner table. Go to their homes and you will find the same family dinner table. As parents, this is your place to not only create memories, but also to create a safe haven where your children can ask questions, express concerns and engage with you. Of all the ways to create memories, this is the most priceless for us personally.
Ultimately, how you choose to make memories will be unique to your family. What is important is that you do find a way to make them. Do you have some established already that you want to share? Drop us a line.
