Resiliency is the ability to quickly recover from things that have disrupted us in some way or caused us a hardship. Ultimately, building up our ability to respond and recover in a positive fashion is priceless.
Good outcomes, regardless of where they begin, are the result of a lot of work. Outside of starting someone down the path toward examining something, quotes are – in our opinion - useless and frequently harmful. You will never really be able to understand a subject, an event, or especially a human being (including yourself), from a quote.
When children begin to name and then recognize triggers for their emotions, good and bad, they are granted a new superpower. That superpower is self-control. Self-control is critical for development and is the basis for emotional maturity in adulthood. To help children on their path to emotional maturity we are launching the emotion project next week. While our high level goal is to get children thinking about the connections between their actions and emotions, we have a series of long-term goals in mind that will probably align quite well with you as parents.
There are times when answering a question with a question is appropriate. This is rarely more true than when a child asks for an adult to solve a problem that they themselves could solve with just a little more thought. When Susie says "Bobby keeps knocking down my blocks" or Michael says "This puzzle piece won't fit" you are faced with a choice as a parent. Solve the problem for the child or do what we do and ask "And what do you think could be done about that?". The younger the child the more likely you will get a shoulder shrug, but to ensure that children are solving more problems via thinking as they get older, you can present them with practice. What follows are some examples of everyday activities that encourage thought and self-reliance versus dependence on others to make the world work in a way that makes them comfortable.
Joy is a reflection of living our values, and we would argue that finding it as parents is critical to our children's success in life. There are a number of things you can do to be joyful yourself as well as teaching your children to be the same way.
If you consider yourself a hands on learner, whether completely or even partially, we suspect you will be able to relate to why we love this aspect of child development. The playground presents an opportunity for societal learning and practiced citizenship in a hands on fashion. As individuals, children on the playground are presented with a number of scenarios that they must work through.
Think back to childhood. Who did you look up to? Were there people in the media and entertainment that you looked up to and idolized? Sports stars? Actors? Pop singers? From a perspective of being worthwhile in your development, how did that work out? If you are like most people it probably didn't work out well.
We are always looking for ways to be better parenting partners. This includes staff training, virtual coffee klatches, engagement with parenting and early childhood education organizations, research and good, old-fashioned conversations with you directly. But to date, being better/simpler business partners has been a bit of a challenge.
There are a few ideas that get floated about when it comes to children that make us cringe. Perhaps the worst of all of these ideas is the one that can be paraphrased as "that child did something 'bad', so they are a bad kid". When "that child" is our own, these labels can lead to feelings of guilt and even shame as a parent.
Our series on values started with an overview. In that overview we mentioned we were adding in a new value and breaking off another. We felt that these new values were important enough to merit their own emphasis . Because we have already covered this week's value, self-reliance, we wanted to address one of our new values. This related value is leadership. In a standard classroom where chairs sit in a row and order is maintained by a central figurehead…
When adults have six definitions for a word it is a foregone conclusion that it is not easily definable to young children. But thankfully, justice as we use it is very demonstrable. As we use the term, we are referring to the moral principle that emphasizes objective evaluation and equal, fair treatment of others.
If you scroll back to the first article that launched this series you might notice the emphasis we place around responsibility. So much so that three of our values represent three different key tenets of responsibility. Responsibility itself, leadership, and this week's value - self-reliance. A critical aspect we like to point out when it comes to the last item on the list is that Montessori doesn't just teach self-reliance as a concept, but rather it is at the very core of the method.
Of all of the dangers that social media presents to children, perhaps the worst is the unrealistically inflated sense of self that the culture of likes conveys. The ease with which the same machinery can crush the ego of those who do not yet have the life experience to contextualize what they are experiencing is equally appalling. The persistent forces that convey the message that our worth is defined by what our group believes is incredibly destructive.
Of all of the values we emphasize at Greystone House, frugality is perhaps the most at odds with our culture. In a day and age where we are pelted with ads and messages to buy more, many of which we do not even consciously register, the idea of balancing our inputs and outputs can seem quite odd. But ultimately, the payoff of a frugal life is the freedom to take advantage of more choices while defining our path in life.
Wisdom is a value that it can be hard to get a grip on. We all have lightbulb moments where we suddenly realize something important. The futility of a certain action, a better way to accomplish a goal, a realization that maybe others matter just as much as we do, or even a moment of quiet reflection where we realize we will never have it all figured out. These moments are frequently the foundation of our personal growth and ultimately help us make better judgments and decisions.
Collaboration is particularly critical as a value at Greystone House because it is one of the core values that lead to our founding 36 years ago. At our core we consider that one of our primary purposes is to serve as parenting partners for the families that walk through our doors. We are working parents ourselves and we know that it is not easy.
The word "values" can be difficult to define with absolute clarity. At their core though values are the beliefs put in action that help inform our path on a daily basis as well as enable others to understand who we are. When we internalize a value it actually becomes a part of who we are. An internalized value exerts itself without being called upon to do so.
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