Parenting is hard. As much as we see and can support with evidence the effectiveness of our methods when it comes to both educating and working with the behavior of children in the age groups we support, we also know that adopting these methods consistently is difficult for parents. We are all passionate about our children and we also come to the table with biases, influences, and a lifetime of experiences that may have us convinced that trying different things is either unnecessary or doomed to fail.
The toddler age group is generally seen as one of the more challenging when it comes to parenting. We are prone to disagree. While parents and toddler's alike may struggle at times with the limited communication abilities that come with the age, it turns out that there is one big thing you can do to get your toddler engaged and happy. Put them to work.
As a parent you may ask, “How do I help my child with social skills?”. Much like baking, using the phone to set an appointment, sweeping a floor, or getting dressed every day, maneuvering the minefield of complex social structures takes practice. Getting the social practice in requires the same thing as practical life – opportunities to try. And fail. And then try again. It is tempting as a parent to want to shield our child from the challenges and pain that social life brings.
Montessori facilitates an environment where children are free to explore, learn, and grow safely while providing guides to support children along the path. One assumption underlying this approach is that children are owners and active participants in their own lives who are capable of doing things on their own. We would go so far as to say that children begin to really own the choices that drive their lives and that they start growing apart from us from the second they are born. Controversial? Well, no. It is literally true the instant the cord is cut. As parents and educators we become blameworthy for developmental failures when we are accomplices in creating "adult children" rather than adults. This generally happens when we fail to become the guide that helps another human being desire to be in charge of creating their own story (hopefully one that is meaningful and fulfilling). The child that grows into an adult is the child that has had plenty of practice building the skills and traits that differentiate an adult from a 6 foot tall toddler.
One poorly informed criticism of Montessori is that it lets children do whatever they want. This is not only a nonsensical reading of Maria Montessori's education philosophy, it is also a surefire way to crush children and leave them with a deflated sense of self for life. That deflated person is the antithesis of the goal of what we do as Montessori educators. But raising free, satisfied, and admirable adults requires action and that includes that we as parents impose boundaries on our child. There is more than one type of boundary of course and today we are going to examine why each is important.
Curiosity has a lot of praise heaped on it. But for all that praise, it is in desperately short supply. We live in a time where minds are made up in social groups about complex issues - often without any sort of expertise or evidence, where accusations made against others in public are accepted pronouncements of guilt without a trial, and where questions we want answered are sent through programs that tell us only what they know we want to hear (even though there are better search engines like DuckDuckGo that don't target us with specific answers). In many ways it has become socially unacceptable to be curious while at the same time praising curiosity as if it is the best thing in the world. Thankfully, children are oblivious to the social pressures that squash our natural curiosity.
This blog isn't only for our parents at the school. This one is for the bosses to whom our parents report. But we are getting ahead of ourselves. At Greystone House we support families with children from 6 weeks old through Kindergarten. We are very fortunate in that many of our families start in our infant room and remain all the way through our programs. Not only is that a great way to provide stability for the children, but it is a wonderful opportunity for us to build a partnership and relationship over time as we get to really know the family. One thing we see over and over again that we love as much as the growth of the children is the development of our Mom's and Dad's. We like being a part of that, and we feel the need to suggest that employers be a part as well.
Starting good eating habits early is critical. There is no other way to put it. Obesity in children aged 2-5 in the United States sits at 13.4%. By the teenage years it has increased to 21.2%. By adulthood it has climbed to 42.4%. And obesity continues to increase. The costs from a healthcare perspective are staggering. As we are all aware, changing habits - whether positive or negative - is hard to do. With this in mind, it is generally better to form good habits early rather than attempting to change them later. At Greystone House, we focus on proper nutrition from the earliest ages.
I feel very fortunate to have the friends I have. I am equally happy to see that my kids are experiencing the benefits that friendship brings. Knowing that they have people beyond family that they can reach out to for anything is a source of comfort and a reflection of interpersonal skills they have managed to build. It turns out that having friends is just as important for preschool children, and in some ways, more beneficial.
Staring at public data is generally a pretty good way to alleviate stress about many of the negatives we perceive in the United States (assuming you have the mathematical literacy to understand what you are seeing). While there is still a lot of room for improvement, particularly with regard to other countries, crime rates have been experiencing a very big downward trend since the early 1990s, overall life expectancy is going up, and numerous categories of accidents have shown marked improvements. But education is an area where the outlook isn't quite as positive.
We are very fortunate to have some very long tenured staff. Our professional staff in particular has an average tenure that is in the double digits in terms of years of service. Part of our long tenure average is of course good fortune.
As parents we all hit a wall sometimes and a thought similar to the following enters our head. "I have no idea what to do about my child's behavior". "Behavior" as used here can refer to any number of things. Biting, tantrums, refusing to do what they are asked, ignoring ground rules and any number of other irksome behaviors can leave us baffled as parents. The better phrase perhaps is undesirable behaviors.
After decades of noting these patterns, I have seen some clear characteristics emerge in the people that I have come to admire - and in many cases - call friends. Many of these characteristics are rooted in the Montessori education.
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