Years ago, we came across an article written by a parent at a Houston Montessori school. In the article, the parent describes Montessori as Libertarian with a capital L. If we are being honest, we would tend to say the article "rationalizes" more than describes.
There are times when answering a question with a question is appropriate. This is rarely more true than when a child asks for an adult to solve a problem that they themselves could solve with just a little more thought. When Susie says "Bobby keeps knocking down my blocks" or Michael says "This puzzle piece won't fit" you are faced with a choice as a parent. Solve the problem for the child or do what we do and ask "And what do you think could be done about that?". The younger the child the more likely you will get a shoulder shrug, but to ensure that children are solving more problems via thinking as they get older, you can present them with practice. What follows are some examples of everyday activities that encourage thought and self-reliance versus dependence on others to make the world work in a way that makes them comfortable.
This will be our second year without a Father's Day Breakfast. We hope it is not only our last event to be lost (we are figuring out the possibilities for the luau), but that we can all take a moment in the absence of the breakfast and let the men in our lives know that we appreciate them. And let them know why. You will likely have unique reasons why the special men in your life are worthy of your praise. For us, the following characteristics are things we can't help but admire.
At the ages we support we have seen children trying every manner of ploy to get their way. Pouting, tantrums, arm crossing, yelling, and many of the granddaddy of them all - "NO!". And this is expected. Just as an infant cries to fulfill needs it doesn't understand, younger children try a variety of things in an attempt to get what they want or need. This isn't "mean" manipulation any more than an infant crying would be considered so. These behaviors are simply an expression of the limited experience and tools that a young child possesses.
As parents we all hit a wall sometimes and a thought similar to the following enters our head. "I have no idea what to do about my child's behavior". "Behavior" as used here can refer to any number of things. Biting, tantrums, refusing to do what they are asked, ignoring ground rules and any number of other irksome behaviors can leave us baffled as parents. The better phrase perhaps is undesirable behaviors.
Earth Day occurs this week and that means a number of things to us. First and foremost - at Greystone House it means we will be outside as much as the weather allows. We love that and so do the preschool aged children we support.
One of our favorite activities at the school is gardening. We have kept plants in the curriculum as, among other things, a way to teach the children about growing food. As usual with Montessori, the best way is the hands-on way. Watch the edges of the playground and you will notice a series of box planters. Over the years these have yielded some wonderful classroom treats.
We have been in the early childhood education game for a long time. We have seen so many things in terms of words and actions from preschool aged children and confess we are rarely surprised any more at the variety of behaviors.
Self-esteem can be a mixed bag. When people move from a sense of justified pride earned by working their way through a task to being convinced of their own superiority with little to no justification, something has clearly gone awry. But there is a clear area where self-esteem is healthy and where, particularly in children, it can serve as an armor against all manner of negative influences. Building that positive self-esteem and thickening the armor starts early. As parents of preschool children, there is no time like the present.
If you scroll back to the first article that launched this series you might notice the emphasis we place around responsibility. So much so that three of our values represent three different key tenets of responsibility. Responsibility itself, leadership, and this week's value - self-reliance. A critical aspect we like to point out when it comes to the last item on the list is that Montessori doesn't just teach self-reliance as a concept, but rather it is at the very core of the method.
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